my mom she's fabulous
coco walks into the kitchen
me: mom why do you let this wild animal into our home
mom: what!
me: this thing (pointing to coco)
mom: do not tell anyone... i will be arrested.
me: what?
mom: i am keeping mini-bear in our house... he is my family (picks up coco)

my parents bought my dog coco a big ass bear and he didn’t like it


i dont know what i said after that i was just laughing for like 5 minutes and my mom was like WHAT’S FUNNY???? DID YOU SEE SOMETHING??? and im just like MOM USUALLY GAY PEOPLE DATE OTHER GAY PEOPLE IT’S KIND OF A THING and she was just like “OH okay. did u eat breakfast”

silly moms

my mom on the gays
me: so we had to get a different apartment because they won't let norberto and i room together because he's a guy
mom: u were gonna be roommate with boy!!!!! why!!
me: mom he's gay
mom: oh... i thought so. thats ok. you have many gay friend.
me: yeah he has a boyfriend
mom: is he gay too?
mom: ???
my mom remains adorable and hilarious always. happy mother’s day, mom.

my mom remains adorable and hilarious always. happy mother’s day, mom.

true life: my mom writes romance novels
mom: what are some romantic situations for a boy and girl meeting
me: what


My mom keeps asking me if i think coco’s pretty
ok? yes? coco is pretty? What

me: omg is this story based off of real life
mom: no!!!! it is my imagination!!!
me: ...
mom: ....
me: ..................
mom: it's a friendship story!!!!!!!!
me: why do they kiss
mom: it's a friendship story okay!!!!!!!!!!


omfg i have to tell you guys the plot of my mom’s new romance novel omfg this whole mom writing romance stories is literally the greatest thing in the world to me like



it’s about a korean-american family living in a middle american suburb with no other korean families around and it’s mostly about the mother and her struggles with not having other koreans around but one day a hot popular korean actor comes to visit to get away from the ~famous life~ of being in korea and the actor and the mom develop a forbidden romance

like omfg @ mom i CANNOT with her she is so great and all her friends (also middle aged korean moms) are OBSESSED with the story. like this is so hilarious and great to me and she’s actually a really great writer too like she’s been published before but yeah omfg

so one time some kids tagged gang signs on our fence and my mom was like “SALLY SOMEONE DREW PICTURE ON OUR FENCE” and i was like no mom those are gang signs and she got SO SCARED that a gang would come to our house and kill us

the next day i came home from school and my mom was like sitting at our table with her hands all covered in paint and i’m like what’s up mom and she’s like THE GANG ISN’T GONNA COME ANYMORE so i went back outside and i saw this on our fence